To my husband

Can not belive you have gone I am glad we had you home if only for a few days mc millian nurses arranged every thing for you a special bed carers it was hard when you were in hospital for those few days I also had to do your will you just about able to sighn will at the solicitor talked to you alone but once your key drive medication was fitted you spent most time asleep I know it might seem strange but I never thought you would die maybe tyhat was part of brain was switched off I just wanted to be with you all the time as your bed was in the living room you did tell me you love me and kissed me at night when I went to bed when night carer came in from 10pm till 8pm but the night you died the carer told me that morning you had a bad night just like you were that day you were rushed into hospital I held your hand that morning but you looked straight through me I called doctor out he gave you a big dose of morphine and a anxiety drug within 10 minutes you were snoring your head of our friends phoned later that day I told them doctor came out they came straight round they knew you near the end I did not your breathing changed at around 8 while watching dancing on ice you kept skipping a breath that was hard to watch we called our son down stairs at 9.20pm and you took your last breath at 9.28pm then you were gone could not belive what was happening am in trears writing to you our friends called funeral people they came not long after doctor confirmed you were dead before your funeral our son wanted to visit you at chapel of rest I was not sure I had lovelly picture memories of you but its what our son wanted the strange thing is I forgot you would cold you did not look like you I slipped a picture of us in your blazer pocket and the guy cut a piece of your hair for me to keep I keep it in a locket which also has your wedding ring your casket sits pride of place in the living room and I talk to you all the time I say morning when I come down and say night when I go to bed I hope one day I might win lottery so I can buy our rented house as I feel its part of you as you died here in our home that night  I know it will not happen but its good to have dreams thats all I  have I try to enter tv competion as they are free to enter  I miss you so much until next time.